alright, alright, alright

sorry for the huge gaps in between posts here. i just haven’t had the will to write anything lately. that being said, i am writing now and i would like to let you in on an idea.

the background: two of my friends, adam miller and gordon anderson, recently saw some d00ds wearing shirts that basically said, “accept jesus or accept permanent damnation.” because of these rather harsh words, we figured that these religious wackos have a much different bible than most people. i.e. it features a much harder and more kickass jesus.

the idea: because that thought made us giggle like little girls, we thought that we should write one such bible about a more badass, less lovable jesus. and you’d better believe there will be sodomy.

-our jesus will fight mostly blacks and jews.

-most, if not all chapters/sentences will end with the phrase “and then [the victim] knew the awesome, terrible strength of the lord jesus christ.”

-we’re going to claim it’s well over 2000 years old, even though there will be very obvious modern cultural touchstones. for example, in one of the chapters in the book of gordon, jesus fights the great jew steven spielberg… and possibly chuck liddell from UFC.

Published in: on May 27, 2007 at 2:44 am  Comments (1)  

BRUSH YOUR TEETH!!!

Published in: on May 15, 2007 at 4:27 pm  Comments (2)  

in soviet russia, video tests you!

this is just a test to see if i am capable of posting a video from youtube.
but hey, watch this video anyways. it’s pretty funny, i think. especially if you liked 300.

Published in: on May 8, 2007 at 6:42 pm  Comments (4)  

HAY GUISE!

i thought that i should either go with this new layout orrrrr the banana smoothie one, but this one had hearts and butterflies and, omg, gerber daisies. sooo long story short, this is my new stuffff!

😀

Published in: on May 7, 2007 at 3:56 pm  Leave a Comment  

∏∏

i have a few questions that i need answered about this wordpress thing and that worse than useless FAQ is starting to piss me off.

primarily, why does my name not link to my page here when i post a comment? i don’t remember ever having a say in that.

next, how come there is no link to my profile on my page like all the cool guys have?

thirdendarily, how does one go about posting video on one’s page?

i believe that covers all my questions for now. if any of you l337 h4x0rz can keep a n00b like me from getting pwn3d, it would be most excellent.

Published in: on May 6, 2007 at 8:21 pm  Comments (2)  

FOR GOD’S SAKE, DON’T HAVE A KRISTALLNACHT!

i came up with a world war I pun today. it goes like this:
“i relish the opportunity to use mustard gas!”

and because chelsea asked for it:
i want to make a cereal called “latin-o’s!” it would be like lucky charms but it would taste like tacos. and i would have carlos mencia market it for me. he’d be all like, “i’m so EDGY, homes! this CEREAL is so EDGY! like crossing the BORDER!” and the white people will be like “what?” and the latinos will be like “what? i will purchase some of this cereal.”

Published in: on May 6, 2007 at 8:09 am  Comments (1)