lolocaust.

there is a girl at moorpark college

that looks like a midget.

i don’t think she is,

but she looks like one.

you can see her stubby fingers from here.

how can she carry anything with such useless digits?

i don’t hate her,

i just don’t trust her.

and now

she just hit her knee on a chair

and i think she’s dead.

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Published in: on April 30, 2007 at 10:00 pm  Comments (3)  

bill wonka doesn’t sound as fun as willy wonka.

i saw/read two really stupid things today.

the first stupid thing i saw/read was a headline on espn.com that said “Bonds hits 741th HR in win vs. Dodgers”

…741th. huh.

the second stupid thing i saw/read came from the mind of rudy “ol’ rusty balls” giuliani:
“The former mayor said if a Democrat is elected, ‘it sounds to me like we’re going on defense. We’re going to wave the white flag there.’ But, he said, if a Republican wins, ‘we will remain on offense’ trying to anticipate what the terrorists are going to do and ‘trying to stop them before they do it.'”

these sleezball politicians are officially out of control. it has gotten to the point that they don’t even realize what words they are defining. i could be wrong here, but last time i played sports, trying to stop someone from doing something before they do it is called defense. like i said, i could be wrong, but i’m not. what america needs is a nice, hard kick in the balls.

Published in: on April 26, 2007 at 6:52 am  Comments (4)  

well now, this is an interesting little title for a post that dances around the issues.

there is perhaps nothing quite as isolated in this world as a fat kid listening to an ipod.

i take that back. a hobo wearing a mcdonald’s bag on his head takes a close second.

Let me lay down the law of this:
1.) I will not use capital letters unless what I have to say is somewhat important.*
2.) Most of the time I will not say anything important. Act accordingly.
3.) There is a high chance that there will be no correlation between any two posts here. I don’t know yet, though. We’ll behead that king when we get to him.
4.) Updates will be sporadic, of this much I am sure. I may update 24 times in a single day in an attempt to be like Jack Bauer with a blog or I may update once every time the human race mutates into a new species.
5.) The N-Word is NOT allowed.
6.)
7.) i love medication commercials. they make me never want to watch TV again.
8.) is a good place to stop.

*This is because I believe that captial letters are simply there to exploit the lower-case letter proletariat. However, sometimes one must use the capital letters to properly mobilize the proletariat.

Published in: on April 25, 2007 at 7:43 am  Comments (2)  

teixe reos puam setepo

the first post in the history of mankind. no sense in showing my ace just yet.

Mark Spitz

mark spitz set seven world records and won seven gold medals at the 1972 olympics. as did i.

Published in: on April 23, 2007 at 8:45 pm  Comments (6)